After Thanksgiving, and after licking all the pie tins clean, I felt it was only appropriate to give my body a rest from all the butter, and the…butter.  My body is tired.  Someone in my office is always on a cleanse, but my only experience with them has been “who made cupcakes?! Don’t you know I’m cleansing!!? I hate you, cupcake maker” overheard from a fellow co-worker. So that must mean the cleanse is working, right?

I have been wanting to try one for a while, not because of all the rave reviews I’ve heard from inside the office walls, but because I have read a lot about the revitalizing results that can come from re-booting your system through clean food. Cleanses can vary in intensity, such as ALL juice cleanses, but I chose the 3-day Green & Tonic, which combines juice and food in 8 “eating occurrences.”

Currently writing this, I am at the end of day 2, and am feeling pretty sprightly.  I am going to try and ignore the fact that my roommates are currently eating Oreos and peanut butter in my face.  They are far too kind.

Day 1, the whole shebang gets dropped off at my office.  It includes everything I will be eating over the 3 day period, as well as a little instructional note card.

Breakfast, day 1.  This bar is breakfast for all three days, and it is rather intense.  Or at least that’s what I thought while eating it on day 1.  Dense, chewy, but yummy! “Mmm, almost like dessert! Can I have pie now?” said my tummy.  I was a little nervous about not drinking any coffee, as I am a dedicated morning coffee drinker, but this tea was a nice compliment to the bar.

We are also supposed to drink a lot of water throughout the day, with lemons to gaaahrnish (I know there is only one ‘a’ in “garnish” and no ‘h’ but you can’t really say the word “garnish” seriously, or without slight exaggeration, can you? I digress.)

Around 10:30, it’s GREEN juice time.  Jungle juice.

Now, I don’t know about you guys, but I used to drink Jungle Juice when I was in college.  I was very healthy back then, you know.  Although my college jungle juice had a little less cucumber, and a little more Kool-Aid.  And a little vodka too. Okay a lot of vodka. This greener version was almost as delicious as the upper-lip-staining stuff I drank back in the day.  If you’re not used to drinking these kinds of juices though, I’d say they take getting used to.  An acquired taste, if you will.

1:00: LUNCHTIME! Yeaaah, food! Oh, wait…

To be honest, at this point I wasn’t that hungry, because of the filling brick bar I had eaten that morning.  This was greens. And a handful of lentils.  Meal for an ant, yet delicious nonetheless.

Around 3:30, it’s time for the “Quick Quencher” juice.


Now this was the kind of juice I was used to, except sans vodka.  At this point I was starting to get a little hungry, as my morning bar had fully digested.  I was feeling quite anxious about getting home and watching my roommates eat their leftover mashed potatoes and biscuits (Thanks, Liz), but it turned out okay.  I found that the more I thought about it, the worse it felt.  And in reality, I wasn’t that hungry… it was the idea that I was depriving myself that made me want something to gnaw on.  I got home and guzzled my second jungle juice of the day.

Dinner was around 7:00. On the menu was a carrot & ginger soup.  It was spicy! Now I understand how they get your body kicked back into gear – it’s on fire. In a good way.

About 2 hours after dinner, I cooled down my tastebuds with my last juice of the day:


So. Good. And then I slept like a baby.

Overall, day 1 was not so bad! Whenever I had a cupcake moment, similar to the one I explained earlier, I would remind myself that this is good for me.  For my body.  Not so much for my cube-mates, who have such amazing patience.  That, or they’re used to the cupcake-cleanse-complainers, and have learned to look away as they see me staring longingly at their lunch sandwich as drool pools in the corner of my mouth.

On that note, goodnight! Day 2 & 3 recap to come. Will I SURVIVE?!

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